And well worth the two minutes.
Geoff Sarkin Is Using Twitter!
by Mike Sacks and Scott Rothman
· Fixing bow tie. Last moment of freedom! Putting out cig, making sure breath doesn’t smell . . . O.K.! Let’s get married!
· Walking down aisle. Stopping. Family and friends waiting for me to finish update. Patience, people! And . . . done.
· Yes! Yes, I do take Helen to be my lawfully wedded wife! Rabbi, please respond when you receive this tweet.
· Also, confirm that it’s “wedded,” with two “d”s.
· Two “d”s, right? Thought so. And we’re good to go? Oh, yes, the kiss! LOL.
· Still LOLing.
· Helen not laughing. Maybe she will in a sec.
· No, still not laughing.
· Kiss is wonderful. Better than expected!
· Attempting to fist-bump rabbi. He’s shaking head no. Not cool! Now what? Anyone know where the receiving line is?
· For those of you at the end of the line, yes, it’s really boring, I know! Orioles are losing, by the way. BIG surprise.
· Ending receiving line early. To everyone still waiting: THANK YOU FOR TRYING. Send your good wishes to email@example.com.
· Attaching photo of Aunt Bess looking into camera phone and telling me to put down camera phone. Not a bad shot.
· At reception now. Someone do me a kindness? Google “Wedding Dance + Instructions + ‘Always on My Mind.’ ” Thx.
· Uncle Bob from Australia came! Can’t believe he flew 22 hours for this! Just after triple bypass!
· Uncle trying to talk to me. Sending him e-mail. Kind of busy now, obviously.
· Can’t see b/c Helen just smashed wedding cake in my face. Now have cake all over iPhone.
· Not funny, baby. Can’t seem to use the exclamation point now.
· Now I can!!!!!!!!!!
· Guests starting to leave. Check Facebook when you get home, people. Might just be a virtual bouquet of flowers waiting.
· A little mass e-mail to say, “I love u all, even if I did forget some of your names.”
· Checking in at hotel. It’s O.K., not great. Just kidding! It rocks! Good iPhone reception. Walking to room. Orioles lost, btw. SUCKS.
· Alone at last! Luckily, Blue Jays also lost! Watching video of our first wedding dance—http://bit.ly/1hR8s.
· Helen looks ravishing! Thx, Max, for taking over while I shot video!
· Geoff Sarkin will be out of the office until April 26. He is on his honeymoon! Someone at work please post this on system tomorrow?
· Btw, how did Beth in marketing do on her run last weekend? And what was flavor of the Friday doughnut?
· Need to know ASAP! Don’t care what time of night it is!!!!!!!!!
· Nude and waiting for wife to enter bed.
· Anyone see “Law & Order” last night?
· The new Lady Gaga video is crazy scary!
· Would u rather be an elephant or a giraffe? I’d rather be a giraffe. Not sure why. They seem happy. Must be the size of the neck . . .
· Wife getting into bed.
· Oral sex has commenced. Taking off dress sock. And now the other . . . Oral sex has started again.
· Helen seems to be enjoying herself. Anyone out there have any oral-sex stories they want to share? They’re usually pretty funny.
· Making love now. Check out this amazing article on the guy who invented wonton soup—http://bit.ly/2z3Gob11.
· What’s this thing called again? Aireola? Eereola? Areola?
· DAMN! JUST MY LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I love double-chocolate doughnuts! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! SAVE ONE!!!!!!!
· Before I forget: Marnie, can you check to see if my computer is off?
· @ MarnieAlwysTired: Because I like to “think green,” that’s why! Jeez, Marnie. Shout-out to the environment, hey ya! What! What!
· Still making love.
· No change since last update.
· Helen writhing. I’m changing Facebook status to “Married.”
· Helen still going. Sending in-laws Facebook “poke.” Important to maintain good relations.
· Ceiling shadows look like sea creatures! I take it back. Don’t want to be giraffe. Def want to be sea creature! Cos they swim so fast?
· Helen finished and off to bathroom.
· O.K., now I’m finishing.
· Think I might hit the hay. Exhausted! Will check back in at 3 A.M., everyone! Still thinking of Lady Gaga and sea creatures. What a day!
· It IS areola! Thought so. Thanks, Dad. Is it too soon to call you Dad?
· Uh-oh. Having 2nd thoughts about marriage. Ha. JOKING! This is the best!
· Nighty-night, everyone! Tweet y’all REAL soon . . .
· Taking off bow tie now. ♦