It seems to me that today virtually no ads have unique selling points, or even insights. So to speed the creative process along, I've written down a few. They should make doing acceptably bland work easier than ever to create.
1. Millennial parents really really love their kids.
2. After playing sports, weekend warriors like to cool off with a cold beverage.
3. Kids often bicker during long car rides, especially when it’s raining.
4. Nothing helps millennial men unwind better than a four-cheese nacholupa.
5. Shrimp and steak combos can’t be beat, nor should you try.
6. Starting late September, it’s cold and flu season.
7. People want everyone in the house to have fast download speeds.
8. It’s all about endless breadsticks.
9. Steak is great; steak and shrimp, greater still.
10. It’s the weekend, time to unwind!
11. Beer tastes great, especially with friends.
12. The big game is coming, make sure your snacks are nacho-cheesier.
13. When your toilet tissue is soft, you enjoy going.
14. Shit smells, spray air-freshener.
15. Unlimited calling, unlimited texting, for one low price.
16. Ask your doctor if taking the right medicine is worth it.
17. This offer can’t last forever.
18. Starting late October, it’s time for Black Friday sales events.
19. Starting late October, Christmas is just around the corner.
20. A good bank can help you live the life you want.
21. A good broker is honest and just $9.95/trade.
22. The right medicine means you can rake leaves with your granddaughter.
23. All-day pain can be relieved with just two pills.
24. People need sleep and it will help you sleep.
25. It makes winding roads serene.
26. People with English accents drive one.
27. Wait!? It’s a Chevy!?
28. When the weather is cold people like hot food.
29. When kids are hungry after school they want food quickly.
30. You’d expect to pay a lot more.
31. That’s a lot of car for not a lot of money.
32. That’s a lot of phone for not a lot of money.
33. That’s a lot of food for not a lot of money.
34. That’s a lot of fun for not a lot of money.
35. That’s a lot of furniture for not a lot of money.
36. People like athletes and want to wear the same headphones they do.
37. People like athletes and want to wear the same sneakers they do.
38. People like athletes and want to wear the same clothing they do.
39. People like athletes and want to use the same credit card they do.
40. Good food makes you smile and lick your lips.
41. People will do virtually anything for the beer they love.
42. Water is refreshing!
43. Avocados are good for dips, sandwiches, salads and so much more.
44. The wrong tissue can leave your nose feeling raw and red.
45. Everybody likes when their pants are dry and their ass looks small.
46. Babies like when their ass is dry.
47. People like hotels with low prices and free wireless. Oh, and toaster-waffles.
48. Good tires grip all kinds of road surfaces and leave you feeling safe.
49. No one wants streaky windows.
50. No one wants germs on their countertops.
51. No one wants dirt on their floors.
52. No one wants plastic wrap that clings to things.
53. Spills happen. You need an absorbent paper towel.
54. Babies spill things, puppies track in dirt.
55. People like a hot beverage to get them going in the morning.
56. People like eating in cars with friends.
57. Carpools can be tense when someone has a cold.