Advertising Lexicon, Part III.

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#3 in a rapidly-diminishing series.

Brand-story: A life-and-death tale of love, lust, danger and room-deodorizer.

Break things: Usually the backs of creative people.

Collaboration: Creative input from at least 17 people who have never created an ad before.

Comedy spot: A commercial that made someone laugh before 63-rounds of revisions.

Creative Brief: One document usually containing six different and contradictory sets of directions.

Deadline: The absolute latest something must be done by, adhered to by no one but creative teams.

Deck: One-page of information spread out over 37 badly art-directed keynote slides.

Fail fast: Getting work killed while you're in the middle of writing it.

Iterative: 29 rounds of feedback after receiving input from 17 people who have never created an ad before.

“No one reads anymore”: An unfounded claim you read one-hundred times a day.

Privacy Policy: 4,000 unreadable words telling you that you have no privacy.

Schedule: A timetable that no one has to abide by except creative teams.

10:30 Meeting: A meeting that starts at 11:15.

“This is a crash and burn”: This is how we normally do things. We want you to think we’re organized.

:30-spot: A commercial time-unit containing 44-seconds of copy points.

Weekend: A time long-ago when you didn’t have to work.