Thursday, August 2, 2018

Nobody Asked Me But...Is it already August edition.

Nobody Asked Me But…is my perhaps too-frequent tribute to the late, great New York sportswriter, Jimmy Cannon. Cannon was prodigiously prolific but even he came up empty at times. When he did, he wrote one of these…

Nobody Asked Me But…

….I don’t think there’s any way to eat popcorn neatly.

….That’s probably very good for pigeons.

….And there’s no way to balance your iced-coffee, cell-phone, reading glasses and pen on the arms of your director’s chair while you’re shooting, without spilling the iced-coffee onto your lap.

….Just as the Jewish holidays always come too early or too late, location shoots are always too hot or too cold.

….I’ll probably get in trouble for calling my next ‘manifesto’ a ‘womanifesto.’

….But I’m doing it anyway.

….Somehow I think when the human-race hears the last ding-dong of doom, Gwyneth Paltrow will still be alive.

….I am by no means a Shakespeare expert, but the line from Henry IV, Part 2 “How ill white hairs become a fool,” frightens me.

….Stop me if I become a fool. (Assuming I’m not one already.)

….The white hairs are inexorable.

….When I’m in LA, I always think the city is actually on green screen.

….And sometimes I wish it were.

….I think life would be 200% better if ad agencies had swimming pools.

….And commercials would be 200% better if people in ad agencies still listened to Bob and Ray.

….To that end, did you know the Komodo dragon can render a man senseless with one swipe of his mighty tail?


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