Thursday, March 14, 2019

A.I. writes agency taglines for the 21st Century.

For about the last three years, give or take a few months, I have been taking intensive night classes at the New York Institute of Artificial Intelligence (NYIAI). 

While I am no “digital native,” I’ve been working hard to master the fundamentals of computer science: machine learning, information retrieval and computer vision, especially as it pertains to AI.

Recently, a NYIAI professor recommended I take an online course in machine learning taught by the eminent Dr. Adam Stettler of Cal Tech’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Stettler’s course was, for me, like taking batting lessons from Ted Williams. 

While I believe I have no special scientific aptitude, with Stettler’s help, I have made massive improvements on the AI I am in the process developing--my High-Energy Non-Neural Interface, aka HENNI.

Recently, I turned to HENNI for some work I’m doing evaluating the current state of the ad industry. As background, I "fed" HENNI over 23 years of Agency Spy, Adweek and Ad Age. Based on that corpus of information, I then asked HENNI to create an assortment of agency taglines for the ad industry today.

As imperfect as HENNI is in these early stages, here is HENNI’s curated output:

1.    Your timesheets are late. Again.

2.    The printers are still down.

3.    Creating a culture that creates a culture of cultures.

4.    The data indicates it’s all about data.

5.    I have a hard stop.

6.    Processing agility in a six sigma way.

7.    Transforming transformation at the speed of    transformation.

8.    Raise-free since 2003.

9.    Our printers are still still down.

10.  Home of the 163-page deck.

11.  Transparently opaque and opaquely transparent.

12.  The ‘advertising is dead’ advertising agency.

13.  The ‘no one watches TV’ advertising agency.

14.  That Gary V. can really hustle.

15.  Don’t just love the hustle, crush it.

16.  We don’t trust anyone over 50.

17.  We don’t trust anyone over 40.

18.  We don’t trust anyone over 30.

19.  We don’t trust anyone.

20.  Our printers are still still still down.

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