Thursday, September 10, 2020

Holding Company OPP announces new CCO, 3.

OPP's new CCO, Brooklyn Flatbush, 3 years, 2 months.

OPP, Organic Potato and Potash, (NYSE: STFU) a creative transformation company that uses the power of creative transformation to creatively transform its clients' creative transformations, announced today the hiring of Brooklyn Flatbush, 3, as OPP’s new Worldwide Chief Creative Officer, reporting to Brooklyn Greenpoint, 7, OPP’s Intergalactic Chief Creative Officer.


OPP’s CEObot, Mark Cannotread, said today, “We build better futures for our clients through an integrated offer of communications, experience, commerce, technology and bullshit.

“Brooklyn has been at the forefront of creative transformation since he was 2. He brings a wealth of experience in creativity, technology and talent to drive sustainable top-line growth, even though we haven’t had top-line, middle-line or even below-the-line growth in over 44 quarters.


Cannotread continued, “It hardly takes a CPAbot, which is what I am, to know that 44 quarters adds up to almost nine dollars. Ca-ching.”


OPP, a creative transformation company has recently come under fire for transforming companies without their consent. OPP transformed one client’s men’s rooms to women’s and then back again before anyone noticed.


“Creative transformation is a transformative creative business,” Cannotread said, reading from prepared remarks. “Brooklyn has a wealth of experience in creative transformation. He plays well in the sandbox—the literal sandbox, we don’t speak metaphorically at OPP. Brooklyn’s only 3 and he’s insisted upon having a sandbox in his cubicle.”


Cannotread acknowledged that since most of OPP’s account people talk about marketing buckets, Brooklyn’s sandbox prowess should be very useful and "bucket-friendly."


“So many creative people today are almost in their tween-years; one or two are even in their teens. Brooklyn doesn’t hark back to the 2018s or even the 2019s. In fact, he doesn’t hark back any further than Tuesday at 2:15PM, which was his nap-time.”


OPP spokesbot, Mark Cannotwrite added, As a transformative transformation company, Brooklyn will not only help us transform, he’ll help us transform how we help other companies transform their transformations.


Cannotread said, “OPP remains at the forefront of lagging behind. And Brooklyn will help us continue our starts-and-stops and we leap forward into the past. And the best part is, we can pay Brooklyn in fruit roll-ups and Pepperidge Farm unsalted goldfish. That right there will save us at least eighty-cents. Win-win.




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