Monday, December 1, 2008

The banking crisis, cont'd.

Oh doom and gloom.
Oh Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

I was on the phone with Chase this morning so it makes sense to talk about what's wrong with banks and banking. And by application the rest of our so-called service economy.

Phone trees where NONE of the options, even after listening to them twice come remotely close to describing your issue.

People on the other end of the phone whose names you cannot understand who are as incapable of pronouncing your name as a goldfish is of whistling.

Getting a person on the phone who cannot handle your issue because they are in the wrong division. Note: They are always in the wrong division.

And now, the real reason banks--and most of the rest of businesses are failing:
Here's what my hold announcement said this morning:
"We are currently providing other customers with excellent service..."

I can only imagine the hours (and dollars) spent by the marketing department
to devise that line.
As an ex-ECD of mine once intoned: "Oh, fuck me with an iron rod."

I would love to take a brick--a brick from capitalism's crumbling edifice--and smash one Chase plate-glass window and one Chase ATM screen for every syllable in "We are currently providing other customers with excellent service..."

Maybe then they will stop answering their phones with annoying, no, insulting
sales-speak when all you want is a problem solved.

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