Thursday, October 29, 2009

The big 3.

The "big three" automakers used to be the "big four." American Motors (which had previously combined two failing automakers) went out of business, or was subsumed by Chrysler about 30 years ago.

I started thinking about this last night as I read IPG's report on its diasterous 3rd quarter, in which its total revenue fell by over 18% and total number of employees fell by 5,000 people. This data made me ponder, will IPG be Madison Avenue's American Motors?

On a lark, I went to and read Interpublic's online "profile." I wonder how close it was to American Motors in its waning days. To that end, I've re-written IPG's profile as if it were an automaker.

IPG (Original):
We are one of the world’s premier advertising and marketing services companies. Our agency brands deliver custom marketing solutions to many of the world’s largest advertisers. We cover the spectrum of marketing disciplines and specialties, from public relations and consumer advertising, to mobile and search engine marketing.

American Motors (in my mind.):

We are one of the world’s premier auto-making companies. Our automotive brands deliver custom automotive solutions to many of the world’s largest countries. We cover the spectrum of automotive category specialties, from trucks and cars, to four-wheel-drive vehicles.


Kelly said...


I can't believe that's their profile copy. Well, at least I hate to believe it.

We, we, we.

Dang, don't we learn not to do that in Mktg101?

Good luck to folks who are spewing self-centered, non-original, non-specific, behemoth-talk like this. You're right, you could apply it to any industry at all.

It's one thing if your client's doing that in the "before" picture, but jeez. If you can't write for yourself, why should anyone hire you?



george tannenbaum said...

Absolutely, Kelly.

I wish I could get work re-writing people's blather into English. I would be a rich man.

Kelly said...

LOL. I'm rewriting someone's blather right now, but it's not likely to make me rich. Got to get at the high-level blather to pad the 401(k).

You may be positioned perfectly for it--and if they're monitoring their online mentions, you've got their ear now.

How 'bout a little jingle for their new profile? :)

Until later,