1. Avoid getting hit by construction cranes falling 27-stories.
2. Kiss three-dozen Irish girls wearing "kiss me" buttons.
3. Vomit on street.
4. Buy major investment bank for 10 cents on the dollar.
5. Tour Iraq while wearing body-armor.
6. Declare the surge a success.
7. Ask my doctor.
8. Worry about a celebrity.
9. Eat tainted food or give a carcinogenic toy to a young child.
10. Over-pay for sex. (Again.)
11. Drink pharmaceutical-tainted water.
12. Cater to a super-delegate.
13. Bail out a billionaire.
14. Warm the Earth.
17. Shop for consumer goods I don't need.
18. Buy a house made of emulsified wood-chips for no money down.
19. Be foreclosed.
20. Live with my family of four on $40K/yr.