Sunday, August 16, 2009

Last night in New Jersey.

Last night my wife had us go out to a shiva in New Jersey, a service of remembrance for someone who recently died. I was wishing the someone was me.

MIRIAM: You didn't eat? You said you were going to eat.
ME: No, I'm fine.
MIRIAM: You should have told me you weren't going to eat. I would have made some sandwiches.
ME: We're going to eat afterwards.
MIRIAM: You didn't eat. Why did you say you didn't need anything to eat? You said you were going to eat.
ME: I really don't want anything to eat.
MIRIAM: I have some vegetarian chopped liver in the ice box. Why didn't you say you wanted something to eat?
PHIL: He didn't eat. All the way from the city?
MILLIE: Let Miriam make you a sandwich.
LOUISE: That's crazy, not eating.
MIRIAM: Let me make you a sandwich. I didn’t know you didn’t eat.
MILLIE: Why did you say you didn’t want anything to eat?
MIRIAM: Let me make you something. I have a chicken in the icebox.
ME:I’m fine.
MILLIE: All the way he came from the city, with nothing to eat.
MIRIAM: You didn’t eat? You said you were going to eat.
MILLIE: Why didn’t you eat?
MIRIAM: You must be starving.
MILLIE: You told me you were going to eat.
MIRIAM: Are you hungry? I thought you were going to eat.


Kelly said...


I've been hounded about eating by Jewish ladies, Italian ladies, Irish ladies, and Greek ladies. It seems to be the universal language for "We care." (I've even caught myself doing it, just a little.)

Sounds like you took it relatively well. It really is better than the alternative. :)



bob hoffman said...


You didn't eat? Why didn't you eat?

george tannenbaum said...

This shiva was in New Jersey, not far from Philip Roth territory, both geographically and spiritually.

And Bob, I had some Brach's hard candy.

Susan Ellis said...

Best laugh of the day, thank you! Fed the spirit.

Lisa L. said...

Speaking of... I can see my Aunt Henrietta is alive and well in your family.

Teenie said...

If the household was Italian, they would have forgone all the talking and stuck a spoon in your mouth instead.