Wednesday, August 19, 2009

We have a meeting next Wednesday.

We don't have a brief.
We don't have an objective.
We don't have a reason for advertising.
We don't have an idea.
We don't have any information.
We don't know the products.
We don't know what they do.
We don't know why they do what they do.
have time on the Client's calendar


Teenie said...

So, basically, you're going to come up with ideas that will prompt the client to say "Ah, that's not at all what we're looking for. But now we know what we want."

Todd said...

Now this post is brilliant.

And all too true.

What hath this industry wrought upon itself?

Tore Claesson said...

that's the price we've come used to pay when we beg for work, even pay to do it (pitching) and in the process have more or less turned ourselves into hopeless hacks. Next time I get in some serious need for medical treatment (thankfully I have never needed that up to now, knock on wood, artificial or not) I will announce a pitch among the health centers in New Jersey where I live. The pitch i like best, with the most charming doctors, will win and save my life. Don't ask how the heck I'd know what would be the best pitch as I have zero medical education, but hey, it's about the chemistry isn't it?

bob hoffman said...


Okay, I don't usually do this for nothing... but here you go:

MUSIC UP. We open on a corn field at dawn. We cut to a factory floor where a feisty young woman with dirt on her face is using a blow torch to blow something onto something else. We cut to an athletic field where a handsome young man with a prosthetic leg is running in a race. We cut to a laboratory where a black man with a grey beard is reading an x-ray. We cut to a helicopter shot of New York skyline at sunset. We cut to a flower stand where a young Hispanic woman and her daughter are hosing down the sidewalk. We cut to a construction site where a man in a hard hat and beard is looking at architectural drawings. A business woman in a suit is looking over his shoulder and nodding. We cut to a meeting room where a riveting powerpoint presentation is underway. We cut to a likable older man (obviously a representative of your client's company) taking a likable young man and his wife through some papers. They nod in agreement.

The copy goes like this: "These days, it takes more than ever to stand alone. To know who you are. To find your own path. At (YOUR CLIENT'S NAME HERE) we understand that it's not about us. It's about helping you be the best you that you can be. (YOUR CLIENT'S LOGO HERE)

Have a good meeting.

george tannenbaum said...

Bob, a thing of beauty in all its multi-faceted vapidity.

Years ago when everyone decided to do Hal Riney commercials and voiceovers, I invented a "Stump the George" Challenge. Give me a topic and I'll write a Hal Riney :30 in just thirty seconds.

Where would America be without cheese?
Our pizza pies.
Our potatoes au gratin,
our mozzarella sticks.

Yes, for over 300 years America has had a love affair with cheese
and cheese has loved America right back.

This message brought to you by America's Cheese Farms and The Cheese Board.

Say cheese, please.

I guess what we're talking about is the difference between creativity and originality and their alternative.

newfriendjill said...

Account people don't seem to be in the advertising business as much as they are in the foam core business. There is a whole department of them running around aimlessly with empty pieces of foam core desperate for us to hurry up and spray mount something on top regardless of what it is.